Hate Mail (and Random Junk)

We respect the fact that not everybody agrees with us. Yes, we respect the fact. We don't respect the people who don't agree with us, because they must be idiots. Here you'll find a sampling of the angry mail we've gotten, as well as the odd and the totally bizarre.

Revenge of the Bitter Asian Women (from Anonymous)
Hate Rating: 5
Weird Rating: 3

Something for you to read :)

http://skyloft.blogspot.com/2004/12/bitter-asian-women.html

Don't bother replying to this addy- it's a temporary.

For some reason, this person sent us this same email twice. I guess they reeeeeally wanted us to read this blog. After reading it, I'm not quite sure what the point is. The BAW seem to be claiming that they don't like Asian Men because they gamble too much, drink too much, and smoke too much. That's funny because I've never gambled, refuse to drink beer, and don't smoke. They also say that Asian Men treat women horribly. Well, I've already answered that criticism in part two of The Asian Parent Syndrome, so I don't feel the need to reply to it here. Incidentally, the fact that the writer went through the trouble of getting a temporary mail address to email us is kind of disturbing. I feel like we're being stalked.

Whitey Responds (from Chad Kensington)
Hate Rating: 0
Weird Rating: 8

Dear Bitter Asian Men (BAM). I want to be a BAM too. The other day I was watching Dragon Ball Z (DBZ, and I was thinking being Asian would be cool! First of all, I could fly and kick ass, like they do in DBZ, and movies like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Secondly I could be all stoic, and bad ass, like Kenshin. I want to be just like Kenshin, because he can kick anybodies ass he wants. If I were a badass asian like Kenshin, all the bitches would want me, because I could kick so much ass. I mean as it is they all want a piece of me, and all I do all day is watch sports and drink beer. I can only imagine how many more girls I could get if I could totally kick ass. I could imagine me at a bar, and I see a hot chick, I want to bend over, but she's with a guy. Today I'd just have to give up and settle for some other girl, but if I were asian, I could take offence at the way he looked at me, and take him out back and beat him up. Then I could take her home. Man being an Asian would be sweet!

Also I could imagine going to buisness meetings (I'm a buisness major now) and having everybody there know how smart I am, because I'm an asian. Also girls would want me to help them with their math homework, which is an instant in to their bedrooms which is half way into their panties. Man being an Asian would kick ass! Just thinking about it gets me excited! WOOOOO!

I don't think this mail needs a response.

Whitey #2 Responds (from 'tony starks')
Hate Rating: 6
Weird Rating: 2

whats up bitterasianmen,

im a white guy and i can say i snaged myself an asian chick and its fucking cool dude. she loves to bang me all the time. sux that u guys cant hook up with asian chicks anymore. i have a philosophy that kind of goes along with what u all are talking about, its about the new dating trend, i dont think your site covers it:

black guys get the white chicks,
white guys get the asian chicks,
asian guys die off.

peace,

dave

I don't know why an email from 'tony starks' was signed 'dave'. So we'll just call the author 'whitey'. Anyway, it's pretty clear that whitey was never schooled in how to use punctuation. Or capital letters. I have to laugh, because the 'asian chick' he hooked up with (if she even exists) will probably go on to date a black guy once she gets tired of his burger-flipping job.

'Serious Question' (by joe wong)
Hate Rating: 5
Weird Rating: 2

yo im chinese, 24 years old and i got a serious question. if you hate white guys and america so much then why dont you just move back to china some day? of course every race or culture wont fit in with america whether its blacks cause the cops are hard on them, mexicans cause they're stereotyped too, etc.

if your having problems getting laid or accepted you could also move to canada cause that's where i live. canada is multicultural and more accepting of any other race in the world and there are lots of asian girls here too.

the bottom line is if you hate it in america, or hate enough to make up this fucked up website then why the fuck stay there?

Judging from this guy's lack of punctuation, capitalization, and spelling skills, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was whitey #3 PRETENDING to be Asian. I mean, "joe wong"? You might as well just sign "John Doe". In any case, this guy clearly doesn't get the point. We don't hate America. We grew up in America. We hate stupid white people (not all white people are stupid) and traitor Asian girls (not all Asian girls are traitors). As for Canada, I'm in med school, and doctors get paid like shit in Canada. So so much for that idea.

Serious Question Part Two (by joe wong)
Hate Rating: 8
Weird Rating: 2

buddy, i got the chance to browse over your whole site and you and your friend are pretty fucking pathetic. the time and effort it took you to think out and write up all that shit is time you wasted when you could have been doing more productive things eg. working out, making more friends, joining an asian social group etc.

fucking whining about this shit doesnt improve your situation at all and its pretty fucking obvious you guys are losers with no lives making up dumb equations and shit, even my nerdiest friends can find better ways to waste time. my female asian friend sent me this site to begin with, and me and like 20 other asians are fucking laughing at you, of course up here in toronto, there are alot of asians so my situation is much easier than yours.

by the way, you think your bitter? how about the white guys who got fucked over because you took their jobs and their spots in university? how about the fact that you got a decent chance to attend university in the US unlike some kids in china? thats the sole reason our parents moved over here you know.

i agree its harder for us to get laid the bottom line is that you claim to be bitter but in reality cant be that bitter cause your still willing to live in the US. in reality your just a fucking loser with no life. go get a life man, get some friends play some sports go clubbing work out theres tons of shit you can do to meet girls that i bet you arent doing and i can reason this by the fact that youve wasted so much time on your worthless site and it isnt going to help

This guy doesn't give up! Since when has an Asian man ever complained about Asians taking whitey spots in universities and taking white people's jobs? Say what you want about affirmative action - universities are admitting Asians and companies are hiring Asians because they're smart and competent, not because they need help to counter racism.

This guy also doesn't get the point. We're not whining about not being able to get laid. We're lamenting the fact that it's nearly impossible for the typical Asian Man to maintain a worthwhile relationship with a female, white or Asian or otherwise. In fact, the "whining about so-called Asian affirmative action" and "only caring about getting laid" clearly identifies this guy as a white guy only pretending to be Asian. He might be biologically Asian, but he's a Twinkie through and through. Of course, his whiteness doesn't appear to have helped his mastery of the English language any.

Our Biggest Fan? (by Aoi Minori)
Hate Rating: 0
Weird Rating: 8

Hey, I just wanted to say I read your site. It's really funny and It caught me off guard when you said, No girls prefer Hairless, Short, Small dicked guys because that's totally not true.

First of all I am 5 feet tall. I really dislike body hair, I love short guys since I'm so short and I really don't like big dicks at all. To me the biggest I would ever want would be 6 1/2. Less then that is definetly okay. My favorite size is 5 1/2 I just think its attractive looking. My last boyfriend was Asian. He was totally sexy. I just wanted to let you know that there are girls out there who definetly like asians and prefer all the qualities. ^^

Byebye

-Aoi

p.s. If your curious what I look like I'll send a pic hehe. ^_~

Here's an interesting mail. Sounds pretty good, right? Well thanks to our expertise in Japanese uh... movies, we instantly recognized that Aoi Minori is a Japanese porn star. Wow, what are the chances that a hot Japanese porn star found our site and emailed us (in almost-perfect English, no less)? Probably not as good as the chances that someone is trying to pull a fast one on us.

On the left is what Aoi Minori looks like. On the right is what the sender of this mail probably looks like. Of course, maybe we're wrong, and the sender of this email actually is a cute Asian girl who just happens to go by the name of a Japanese porn star. But I wouldn't hold my breath.